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Click here for some observations!

"Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair."  - George Burns

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
- Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
- Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
- Groucho Marx

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
- Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
- Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend... if you have one."
- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill...followed by

Churchill's response:
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second, if there is one."
- Winston Churchill

"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here."
- Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
- John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
- Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."
- Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
- Paul Keating

"He had delusions of adequacy."
- Walter Kerr

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
- Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
- Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
- Oscar Wilde

Love is grand;
divorce is a hundred grand
I am in shape.
Round is a shape.
Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels good.
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
Even if you are on the right track,
you'll get run over if you just sit there.

An optimist thinks this is the best possible world.
A pessimist fears this is true.

There will always be death and taxes;
however, death doesn't get worse every year.

I am a nutritional overachiever.

I plan on living forever. So far, so good.
Practice safe eating -- always use condiments.

A day without sunshine is like night.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time,
but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

Brain cells come and brain cells go,
but fat cells live forever.
Age doesn't always bring wisdom.
Sometimes it comes alone.

Life not only begins at forty,
it also begins to show.