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Jokes and Humor

If we can't laugh in soberiety,
we might as well get drunk!

JibJab eCards

From Larry W.... 

"It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living."
Anonymous

 

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A joke and drawing from James:

We don't have a town drunk...we all take turns !!!

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Click here to print and share James' joke from the 2010 IC Chili Feed !!!

Without humor, many of us would have left the programs a long time ago !  We are not a glum lot !  We absolutely insist on enjoying life !!! - Page 132, The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. 

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The first senior moment:

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A man got pulled over by a cop because he was weaving in and out of the lanes. The cop got out of his car and asked the driver to blow in a breath-analyzer tube to check his alcohol level.

"Oh, no," the driver said. "I can't do that. If I do that, I'll have an asthma attack and die."

"OK," said the officer, "let's go down to the station and you can pee in a cup to check your alcohol level."

"Oh, no, I can't do that. I'm a diabetic and if I pee my blood sugar level will go down so low that I might die."

"Fine then. Let's go to the station and take a blood test to check your alcohol level."

"Oh, no, I can't do that. I'm a hemophiliac and I'll never stop bleeding if you draw my blood.

"All right then, just step outside your car and walk this white line for me."

"Oh, no, I can't do that, I'm drunk."

Submitted by Don D.  Author unknown.

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Honesty:

Jon and Jennie are getting ready for bed. Jennie is standing in front of her full-length mirror, taking a long, hard look at herself.

"You know, Jon," she comments. "I stare into this mirror and I see an ancient creature. My face is all wrinkled, my boobs sag so much that they dangle to my waist, my arms and legs are as flabby as popped balloons, and...my butt looks like a sad, deflated version of the Hindenburg!

My body has just gone to Hell in a hand basket! She turns to face Jon and says, "Jon, please tell me just one positive thing about my body so I can feel better about myself."

Jon studies Jennie critically for a moment and then says in a soft, thoughtful voice, "Well, there's nothing wrong with your eyesight."

We still don’t know how John died…but, we have a suspicion!

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