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3 April 2008:
6 TRUTHS OF LIFE:
1. You cannot touch all your teeth with your tongue.
2. All idiots, after reading the first 'truth', will try it.
3. The first truth is a lie.
4. You are smiling now, because you're an idiot.
5. You will soon forward this to another idiot.
6. There is still that stupid smile on your face.
I don't care if you lick windows, take the special bus, or occasionally pee on yourself...You hang in
there, sunshine, you're freakin' special !!!
- Submitted by Mike R.
20 December 2007:
After 20 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the missus felt her husband begin to fondle her
in ways he hadn't in quite some time.
It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving
down past the small of her back. He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down over her breasts, stopping
just over her lower stomach.
He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, caressed past the side of
her breast again, working down her side, passed gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf.
Then, he proceeded
up her inner thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side,
then suddenly stopped, rolled over and became silent.
As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked
in a loving voice, "Honey, that was wonderful. Why did you stop?"
"I found the remote," he mumbled.
- Submitted by Don P.
Nebraska Friends:
FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
Nebraska FRIENDS: Always bring the food.
FRIENDS: Will say "hello".
Nebraska
FRIENDS: Will give you a big hug and a kiss.
FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs.
Nebraska FRIENDS: Call your
parents Mom and Dad
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
Nebraska FRIENDS: Cry with you.
FRIENDS: Will eat
at your dinner table and leave.
Nebraska FRIENDS: Will spend hours there, talking, laughing, and just
being together.
FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
Nebraska FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.
FRIENDS:
Will leave you behind if that's what the crowd is doing.
Nebraska FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds' back-ends that
left you.
FRIENDS: Would knock on your door.
Nebraska FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, "I'm home!"
FRIENDS:
Are for a while.
Nebraska FRIENDS: Are for life.
FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail.
Nebraska FRIENDS: Are with you in jail and say,"Man, we F*.*_ed up!"
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